She Fights Dirty
by JulieJules
Summary: Post CA:TWS Steve's HYDRA clone fights dirty - but in Bucky's memory, he didn't really mind.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing but my constantly wandering imagination - oh, and maybe Steve's hot clone._

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 **She Fights Dirty**

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Bucky, Steve, and Tony were in the tower, watching the game, and having a few beers when the breaking news interrupted. When they first saw the blurry footage - a tall, long-haired blonde woman, clad head-to-toe in black, taking down a crowd of security guards to get at a major political official, they all stopped mid-sentence.

The footage was rushed, shaky, obviously from a distance from a camera phone, but they got a decent glimpse of the masked assassin - and what seemed to be the round, shining black shield she wore on her back. The red star in the middle was glaring.

"What the - ?" Steve sat forward on the couch, dropping his beer onto the coffee table with a clatter.

"That's...interesting," Tony mumbled, eyes narrowing on the screen.

Bucky's beer bottle burst into shards in his hand.

"Hey!" Tony snapped, glaring at the mess dripping onto his white carpet.

Bucky turned pale. "God."

"What is it, Buck? You okay?"

"Steve. I...remember her." Bucky closed his eyes, lifting his hands to grind the heels of his palms into them. "I remember. Codename: _Winter Solstice._ "

Steve frowned, watching the repeating footage, listening to the announcement of the official's death. "Who is she?"

Tony snorted. "Yeah, besides being totally _hawt_."

Bucky swallowed, blinking as he rubbed his aching temples. "She's a HYDRA clone - _your_ clone, Steve."

Tony stiffened. "Everyone forget I said that last thing."

Steve stared at him. "My - What? _How_?"

Bucky shrugged, wincing at the pounding in his head from the recovered memories. "Your blood was all over the place when the Valkyrie went down. When they found you - there were still HYDRA agents all over hell and gone in SHIELD at that point."

Steve shook his head. "No, no that thing _sank_ \- water was everywhere before it froze - there wouldn't have been anything to retrieve, right?"

"Unless - "

"Tony?"

"What ever happened to your old uniform? The one you were wearing when the shit with the Red Skull went down? The one you bled _all_ over? If it was stained into the fabric - "

Steve flopped back into the cushions. "Fuck me."

" _Language_."

"Shut up, Tony," Steve automatically ordered.

Tony only smiled. "Do you guys think you can take her down?"

"Not gonna' be a problem." Steve stood up, determined, but Bucky's hand on his arm made him pause.

"Steve, there _might_ be a problem."

Steve arched a brow. "What _kind_ of problem?"

Bucky pushed a hand through his hair. "She...was supposed to be my replacement. Eventually. I remember...I kind of trained her."

Steve sat back down, curious. "Oh. Is she...good?"

Bucky ducked his head and held it in his forearms, resting on his knees. He breathed deeply, and then said in a muffled voice, "She's your clone. Same eyes, hair, same super strength - she even smiles just like you. Honestly, man, the only thing she's missing is a dick."

Steve blushed. "Bucky…"

"Funny how you noticed that, Barnes." Tony had the remote in his hands, zooming in on the assassin. He tilted his head, considering.

"I dunno, I think the breasts more than make up for it. Whaddya' think? Kind of hard to tell from here, but, what, 36 D?"

Steve crossed his arms defensively over his broad chest. "Shut _up_ , Tony."

Bucky looked up. "She's _you_ , Steve - only she fights dirty. _Really_ dirty."

Tony hummed. "I'm liking this girl more and more."

"Well, if she's me, then she has to have some good in her."

Bucky smirked. "She's definitely you - but she's also HYDRA trained. They fed her the same bullshit they fed me - everything she does is for the good of the world. She's only two years old, and has the mind-set of a twenty-five year old. She thinks _she's_ the good guy. You know how stubborn you are when it comes to doing what's right? What you were like, trying to save the world at twenty-five?"

"Well, c'mon, Buck, you trained her, right? You know her fighting style, all her strengths and weaknesses."

"Yeah, I do, but…"

"What?"

"I don't think it's gonna' help." Bucky sighed, passing a gloved hand over his eyes as he looked away. "She kinda'...kicked my ass, Steve."

Steve blinked.

Tony choked. "Oh, this is getting _good_."

"And...I also might have... _sleptwithher_ ," Bucky muttered in a rush. He nervously bit the corner of his thumb, sneaking a glance at Steve from the corner of his eye.

"Oh, be honest, Barnes, there was _no_ 'sleep' involved," Tony snarked gleefully. "Sounds like she had a lot more than just some _good_ in her, Cap!"

Steve's arms fell away from his chest and his knees gave out. He abruptly sat on the floor with a loud thud, staring at his best friend in shock.

Bucky coolly looked at Tony and shook his head. _"Douche._ "

"So does this officially count as you two fucking, because Natasha and I kind of had a side bet going," Tony blabbed on in the background. "I hate to lose on a technicality - "

Bucky winced, and then offered Steve an apologetic, lopsided grin. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't even know who you were when it happened."

Steve gulped, blue eyes wide in his bright red face as he thought of the implications.

"I also think _she_ was the one who came onto _me_ ," Bucky went on thoughtfully, scratching his head. "I ain't kidding when I say she fights dirty. She waited until my ass was laid out on the floor, barely conscious, and then she basically went straight for my cock! Can't really blame a guy, I guess - she has your good looks after all, and damn if I hadn't gotten laid in sixty-plus years - "

Steve tried to speak, but choked on a cough. He was starting to hyperventilate. Finally he asked, haltingly, "I - _she_ took advantage of you?"

Bucky grinned sheepishly. "Well, I _might've_ made a couple suggestions at first - though, she got pretty pissed when I slipped and called her 'Steve'. Must've been instinct, 'cause I didn't even know why I said it at the time - but, man, she was _offended_. I think I still got a scar. Huh. Maybe _she_ knew - "

Tony was cackling now, rolling around on the couch in near hysterics.

Bucky frowned suddenly. "I - wait. Maybe that didn't come out exactly the way I meant it to."

Steve's eye twitched and he made a weird squeaking sound in his throat.

Tony sat up, tears in his brown eyes, and jabbed a finger at him. " _That_ , that right there! _Yes! Ha!_ This is officially the best day ever!"

Bucky and Steve both sent him a glare promising bloody, violent murder.

 **" _Shut up, Tony!"_**

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 _ **A/N:** Oh, the subtext! So this funny little smut-ish drabble snuck upon me - I don't know what else to call it. The sudden idea of Bucky having teh sex with Steve's (albeit female) clone and Steve's reaction made me snort my beer. Tony being present was just an added bonus. :) Obviously set after CA:TWS. Forgive me if I fudged some details._


End file.
